• T. Evette Hill

This one time, at Beychella....(Insecure S3Ep5 Recap)


First, my apologies for missing last week, ya girl was going through her own Insecure episode. I know what you wanna get to. I TOLD YALL! If you follow me on any social media platform damn it I told y’all!!! But we gonna get there. I had to debate with myself; do I cover 5 “aw shit” moments or just discuss that extra 5min Issa gave us just to snatch our wigs, edges, bundles, fades, locs, shags.....whatever you rockin! But let’s get to it!

1. YOU DON'T MISS BEY!!!!

Look when I found out Bey was doing Coachella in 2017 I said come hell or high water I shall be in that number. Then she got knocked up, had to take a rain check and 2018 my situation didn’t allow for me to go get my flowerchild on. Issa not having a full-time job(ya know other than LYFT...shout out to brock pot neighbor making a cameo) was not about to fuck up her Beychella weekend and like a good bestie, she wasn’t having adulting f’it up for Molly either. I need to get “F*ck that job” put on a t-shirt because it flows so freely out of my mouth. And for the queen....BEY!?!? And for me, Chloe and Halle! Chile, please. Get yo ass down here so we can get drunk, high, and sweaty one last time before Tiff’s pregnant ass pops. Say it with me one more time, YOU DON’T MISS BEY!

2. Peen make ya change ya plans real quick.

After that heffa went Tanisha Thomas from BGC with those pans waking everyone up and talking all that shit about how she had a schedule and they were gonna do this and gonna do that all it only took was one text from sexy ass Nathan aka Lyft Bae to switch all that ish up! Luckily they got to a party that was poppin’. Ok so let’s talk. I know I got some wonderful conversation but Nathan must got me beat. He has Issa jumping in strangers’ pools naked and now she poppin’ Molly?!? He ain’t even tasted the--y’all know what I’m thinking and where I’m going. I expect that from Kelli (and the fact that I consider myself exactly like Kelli that’s sad) but not Issa and Molly. And while we’re on the topic on Molly, Molly, and d*ck, she just telling all her business. Smh poor girl really needs to get on POF or Black People Meet and get a man because she’s looking pitiful.

3. These high hoes missed Bey!!!

What did I say in #1?! YOU DON’T MISS BEY!! See what happens when you do drugs! These heffas seriously thought you could save a spot in a damn open field. And fought when they, let me not say they, this was all Kelli’s doing and when one of us fights, we all fight. Well, Tiff couldn’t assist but I don’t know what the hell she was doing with that water. Kelli lost it, attacking a lil white girl and then that’s when it all went left. Everyone got escorted out. But I’m with Kelli, why were they the only ones put out? Some of those white folks came out of nowhere. Why she ran, damn it I don’t know! But when her ass got tased I lost it!!!! I just wanna give a huge kudos to the people behind the scenes of Insecure because knowing they recreated Coachella in a open field in Thousand Oaks the way they did is very impressive. Their production designer is a beast.

4. Issa has found "him". Daniel who? What's a Lawrence?

There is something about the level of comfort Issa displays when she’s around Nathan. It’s not like the chemistry or familiarity we see with Daniel, this is different. Issa is able to put her guard down with Nathan even when it’s by accident. When she was free-styling and he got into just as much as she did I thought that was the cutest thing. She was embarrassed for 2 seconds and then that comfort came back. She doesn’t have to pretend with him. He likes her as is. She trusts him. Their rendezvous on the ferris wheel was hot. No other way to put it. He took control and I could tell she liked it. I did too!

5. The "mom" friend.....with her hormones and damn emotions.

I can’t speak as a mom. I can only speak as the friend with mom-friends. At this point in my like I think I have more mom-besties than non-moms. I rewatched that scene a few times. It had me wondering if that’s what my friends feel every time they got pregnant and closer and closer to giving birth. No one wants to feel like their friends are forgetting about them or going to forget about them. I mean her squad was already starting group chats and leaving her out and not necessarily being secretive about it so one could understand why she’d feel this way. Her crying in the closet to her hubby reminded me that he was her safe place. The conversation in the car with Issa was probably just a tidbit of what Derek has had to hear. When you become a mom things change. You want to say they won’t but they do in most circles. That’s when you learn who your real friends are and who was just around for a season

*BONUS*

6. BIIITTTCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I get alkaline water from Trader Joe’s, see if they would’ve just went to Trader Joe’s like I do to go get some alkaline water wouldn’t none of this have ever popped off. Plus Trader Joe’s has samples and organic fruits, meats and cheeses and ok, I digress....when she saw Chad my jaw fell in my damn lap. Why? Because whatever function Chad’s ass is in, Lawrence will definitely be in attendance. He did the damn sip from all of our favorite gif and Lawrence came around that corner looking all midnight snackish, oh my damn I know my neighbors heard my ass!! I CALLED IT!!! I CALLED IT!!! Not even a whole 24 hours after ferris wheel fuc—having relations she just had to bump into this guy! Life is so rude. Issa living her best life, not professionally or financially, but emotionally and sexually, then BAM the past hits her like Daniel did right in the eye. Never fails. Issa even said it in season 1, as soon as you move on exes pop up! I’m excited for next episode. I want to know where the awkward ass convos are gonna go. Is she gonna mention Nathan? Is she gonna tell Nathan? Do they even need to know about one another? The Lawrence Hive brought their Best Buy shirts out last night. Chiiiilleeee! So much, so much. Whew! Chad, now I need a slurpee.

Until next week loves,

Curls & Cocktails

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