Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we can’t seem to get out of and unfortunately there are times when that situation involves another person. I think it’s safe to say most of us have held on to a relationship or friendship (sorry we’re stuck with family) that we knew we were not happy with. For some reason of another we just stuck it out whether it be to avoid conflict or spare feelings we carried on the relationship ignoring our own wants and needs. I’m here to tell you that has to stop! It’s ok to cut people loose.
You have to put yourself first.
Unless it’s your spouse or child or maybe an elderly parent you are caring for, YOU COME FIRST!!!! This isn’t a selfish thing. Even with a spouse and children it’s hard to love them at the level they deserve if mommy and babe isn’t taking care of self first. Take that thought out of your head and punt that sumbish far as you can! There is nothing wrong with looking in the mirror and telling the person you see “I’m the most important person to me. I’m my number 1 priority! I put myself before all others.” If someone is in your life and depleting joy from it instead of adding, what is the purpose of their presence? This isn’t a hard task. We all know someone who comes around and the entire energy in the room shifts. If that person is someone close to you it may be time for some reevaluating.
Seniority does not guarantee immunity.
The problem in a lot of friend circles is people think “oh I’ve known him/her for x years, I ain’t goin no where” or my fav, when y’all try to defend them with “That’s just the way he/she is…” Well if you like it, I love it! The same way we want our significant others to grow with us we need to start expecting the same from our friends. I’m on social media and I often say “oh that’s how they were in high school..” so it makes me wonder if their close friends hold them accountable for certain things. Don’t feel bad for outgrowing people that had the opportunity to grow with you. Stop letting your friends drain you, misrepresent you, irritate you, all because you’ve known them since you were 8. A demotion to associate never hurt anybody. Again, you have to put you first!
Are they a rainbow or a thundercloud?
I touched on this already but those close to you should give off nothing but positive energy. We want those people who give you a hug and it just lets you know everything is gonna be alright. The friend that sees the stress on your face, stops and prays with you. The friend who just knows how to distract you from your troubles. What we don’t want is the friend that makes everything about them. We can’t have the friend whose negative aura lingers. That one that disrespects waiters at restaurants and doesn’t have the most patience. That thundercloud has no place in your life, it overshadows everything you’re going through and everything you may have needed at day.
I hope if nothing else this motivates someone to put themselves first. The rest will follow. Make it a Christmas present to yourself. Peace ain’t cheap but it’s deserved by everyone.
Until next time loves,
Curls n’ Cocktails